KIBBUTZ-DRAMA!!

So, we had a fucked up weekend...
Totally insane and now the english guys been kicked out of the kibbutz. But we are fine, I love all of the voulonteers so much and you can see the strength in the group when things like this happens. It's a long story but we don't wont that kind of peapol here.

/Malin

Pictures from the weekend!

Sophie, Roberta & Maxime waiting for the bus to the volunteer party

Malin & Sophie at the party

Sophie & Maxime drinking fancy beer (Goldstar is expensive hello?!)

Maxime trying to get a ride to Haifa

Malin chillin at the bus stop

Sophie hitchhiking in a gorgeous velour dress

Malin, when we just arrived to the beach

Maxime & Sophie at the beach

Lechaim bitches!

The retarded car that we got a ride with on the way home

Maxime were to lazy to get out of bed, but she wanted a beer anyways

ok, this is the shirt: "I rather be in Amsterdam at Red light district."

Eagle 6.3% motherfucker!

Maxime & Malin (almost) ready for the Chetz

The Chetz - Kibbutz Hazorea

It must have been love but it's over now.

The weekend, without the nasty parts:

• Volunteer party at Ramat Hashofet. Hazorea was the only funny people there, pretty boring. But still... ye, party.
  


• Hitchhike to Haifa. All day on the beach with Maxime and Sophie ( the wife). A great day an we want to have it as a Friday-tradition.
  


• Back to Hazorea and fall asleep. Wake up 11.30 (23.30), start playing drinking games and end up on the Hetz. Our weird local "pub"/"club". The thing is that our computer room is 10 seconds away from the Hetz and I end up in front of the webbcam for.. 6-7 ours.
  


• So, around 9 in the morning i finally deside to sleep. Wake up six ours later and grab a bike with Maxime to go to the Gas Station. We just planed to buy cigarettes but instead we bought some beer and got stuck. A super nice day, just me and Maxime talking about everything and nothing until we got tired and spooned.

You can see, a great weekend! But something horrible happened at Ramat Hashofet. I lost my hat. If you know me you know that the hat is a part of my self. I wore it everyday sins like September last year. So, now I need too find a new hat...

Me and The Hat.

/Malin

Guest blogger: Mahivi!

Mahivi just started to write for a newspaper in Argentina (her home country) about the life in Israel and on kibbutz Hazorea. This is the first draft she sent them, this is the introduction;

"Hello everyone!

My name is Mahivi and I am from Venado, Argentina. Moved by a chronic desire to see the world, I studied right here the career of tourism and an intense curiosity carried me to leave home as soon as I finished studying. Two years already passed in which I collected an already countless number of incredible experiences that, among others things, they have brought me to the place in which I am today: ISRAEL.

Mahivi BaAretz means in Hebrew (official language of Israel), Mahivi in the country of Israel and I decided to start with these stories to share with you not only my experience, but also the mental process that involves in itself to travel, also known as "MIND OPENING".

In the two years that I worked between Buenos Aires and Bariloche, with a short but significant period in Bolivia, I knew people from the entire world.

The youths that assemble their backpacks to jump into to the world, are always interesting people, and though according to their origin the tourists have their resemblances and differences, the Israelis are definelly "thing of another world". So strong were the experiences that I lived with them, so incredible people they are, that this generated in me an "almost need" of visiting Israel.

Israel is a tiny country, smaller than the province of Tucumán and with a population of only seven million. It is found in the Middle East, point in which they converge Europe, Asia and Africa, almost in the middle of the world. Among everything that can be told of this place, Israel is simply unique, its people, its history, its traditions, its situation in general it's not repeated in no another country of the world. Along these stories you are going to understand why is said that Israel has a certain issue about "names", in this case, for example, names with hardly weight in the mind of the people.

Upon communicating my decision of travelling to this country, my friends and family were considerably alarmed, since when one thinks about Israel, or more well in its "media version", it's used to think about war, terrorism, about Hamas, Hezbollah, about the wrong applied term "Zionist", about the Gaza Strip… And yes, all that is real here, but in this small territory this chaos coexists with an infinity of things a thousand times more incredible than the grotesque images that present us in the television. The people forgets that is also here where we find other names with their own weight: Jerusalem, the Dead Sea, the Desert of Judea, Bethlehem, Nazareth, the Sea of Galilee and the Western Wall.Israel is that, a tight accumulation of wonderfull and terrible things, of spiritual and cultural contradictions, of intense past, unstable future and troubled present.

But most of all, is something very, very distant to what the media create in the minds of people that actually barely know something about this place. I invite you then, to discover with me that this country, as well as so many others, cannot be known through prejudices. The magic words are: Why not?, now open your minds and WELCOME TO ISRAEL!!!"

Mahivi Baaretz

To be continued...

Part two, the marriage!

The jewish gay marriage of Malin Cocktorp and Sophie Fletcher is actually getting better and better!

Yesterday evening the three of us gathered outside our room and had a romantic dinner with wine, candles, music and tuna salad. Not to forget the modeling clay that we made very artistic creations from. Malin made a blue heart and a pile of poo-poo, and I made a big black cock. We also wrote some amazing poems to each other. The mood was simply on top. Even though Malin got kinda jealous when she heard that Sophie and me were gonna sleep in the same bed, I think this marriage is gonna last forever (and ever and ever..)!

Let's be optimistic. To be continued!

Malin Kantorp, Sophie Flecther & Liam Cullen

/Maxime

The crazy girl from Mexico and the cigarettes.

Yesterday we had romantic time whit red wine and the candels, the famous candels that I got from Sarah in the middle of the night. I'm not gonna tell you the whole story...
Yes, so romantic night was really cozy! And finally Roberta show her face, she was like.. three ours late. But the funny thing was that she had a pack of cigarettes. It's funny because everybody think that she stoled them. I'm serious, It's the first time in 1,5 month that I seen her whit her OWN cigarettes. That girl is amazing... an artist from Mexico City, a big thinker. We had the best conversation yesterday about how you change here, totaly. And the fact that you newer ever will be able to explane it for someone at home. And it helped me alot beacase I just deside to extand my wistit hear.

Roberta Braun

/Malin

Drama of today!

"My fish Screwface died this morning. It's the third fish that dies on me. First it was Stifler. And then Shitface. I don't understand why I keep killing all my fish...
... But fuck man, I just never have the power to clean the fucking fishbowl." -Maxime

Maxime Halfar & Sophie Fletcher

Quots of today!

At work, while folding sheets...

Malin: Fuck I have to take a shit!
Maxime: Yeah me too, I've been walking around farting all day today... You know these quiet, wet farts...
Malin: Oh, the ones who really stink like shit?
Maxime: Yes! What, haven't you felt anything smelly while working today?
Malin: No... But it always smells kinda funky around here, don't you think?


During a break, in the middle of a conversation about relationships:

Maxime: I can't stand this fucking whining, serious, sentimental, romantic bullshit. That has never been my thing.

Sophie Fletcher, Maxime Halfar & Malin Kantorp

New adventures!

Tomorrow me, Malin, Sophie the wife and Roberta (lovely chich from Mexico) are going to a volunteer party in Kibbutz Ramat Hashofet. It's the first time we're going and I hope it's gonna be a kick ass party. We're going to be picked up for free whenever we want, there will be an open bar and open kitchen. Alot of volunteers from other kibbutzim around the north are gonna gather there, so it's a great oppurtunity to meet new people.
I'm excited! The morning after we're probably gonna hitchhike hangover the the beach in Haifa. Malin is probably gonna buy a "day-after-beer" immidiatly when we get there, Roberta's gonna fall asleep, I will jump straight into the water and Sophie is just gonna be boooooooooooooored...

I'll let you know if it turned out how I thought it would.

A couple of volunteers on a volunteer trip to the desert

/Maxime

Kolbo rules man!

What is a Kolbo? I would say it's a small supermarket with expensive food and wierd opening hours. BUT as Malin and me found out a couple of days ago, it's also a fucking clothes store! I mean, we both bought this kick-ass-street-clean-shorts (wearable for all type of occasions) for 10 (TEN) shekels each!
Isn't that wonderful? Well, it made my day.

Maxime Halfar & Malin Kantorp

/Maxime

I'm phat and there's no soloution.

Healthy week made us be even more unhealthy. Started whit beer and icecream...
BUT we played matkot and walked around the kibbutz for a while. We just say it as Agustina (the crazy wonderful girl from Uruguay) ; I'm phaat! But chocolate is the beeeeest thing in the wooorld.

But to day I wont to tell you about the Kolbo, the store of the kibbutz. Every week we get Kolbo-money on our cards. I only buy Pringles, yougurt, bear and Nobless. But in the last days me and Maxime started to explore the Kolbo on our break, the lauondery is next door so we have time. And we find the most clean shorts ever, and for only 10 shekel! From that day is the Kolbo-time a must do, every coffiebreak. But it's not only fun. Because we always have some problem whit the card or someting that make us relly late for work. And when we are out of Kolbo-money in the end of the week... you can imagine.

To day we aloso went to the clinic. Me and Maxime are so oversensitive to mosqitos. The love our blood and our leggs are coverd whit bites and cuts. I have to add that Maxime scratch her legs whit a fork. So, we went to the clinic and they suck, as always. And told us nothing, NOTHING. Like: I know, I lived her all of my life and you just have to stop cratch them. We didn't tell them about the scratch whit a fork. Now we just have to accept that there is no solotion...

















On the way to the pool yesterday we had a languageproblem:

Malin: Hi! (See Shiraz walking thowards)
Shiraz: Manishma? (What's up?)
Sophie: Fitta!! (The only word that she knows in swedish; cunt)
Maxime: O my..

/Malin

A normal day at work

Kevin Harkness

The laundry. In the laundry you can find sheets, alot of sheets, and we have to fold about 100000000000 of them every day. You can also find tables, tables where we just put clothes on for the crazy ladies in the back to fold later. The crazy ladies in the back are... how can I put it... there own species. That's the nice way of putting it though. I would just say they're retarded.

Example:

Yesterday one of the ladies walked around by herself singing "SOS... SOS... SOS". I couldn't help filling in "...a tiger took my family..." and she immediately looked at me, smiled, walked away and kept on going "SOS...SOS!".

Later, one of the other ladies walked around with several small boxes of pills in her hands, she accidently dropped everything on the floor and started to whine and scream "OOOYY OY OOOY AYY AAAY AY!". Me and Malin couldn't help burst out laughing. She looked at us in silence for one second, picked up her pills from the floor and kept on going with her folding like nothing just happened.


Another example is what happended today outside the bomb shelter (see Malins last post). What happened was we started walking out from the laundry with the crazy ladies in the back showing us the way, when we arrived to to the shelter one of the ladies exclaimed "HAHAHHAHA the door is locked and we don't have the key! If this was a real war we would all be dead by now, HAHAHA!!"

What can I say..? Just a normal day at work.

/Maxime

We don't need that bomb shelter anyway so...

Israel prepare them self for attacks, so to day we had to practice by going to a safe place when the siren started. Our bomb shelter was looked so... yes, we are all gonna die. No but serious, Sophie works with the old people and ask her boss where to but them. And she just say: I don't know, maybe in the middle of the room. Like the most dangerous place..

I'm confused. Because I read in a Swedish newspaper that Israel is attacking Iran, and that's the reason for all this preparing? So weird, no one here seems to know anything about it. We just have to wait and see. But we are in one of the most safe places in this country right now. That fells so good. I don't wanna live i Jerusalem right now, for sure.

/Malin

The happy marriage

Yesterday, sunday, we had Sunday Pub Pool Club at the pool (obviously) and husband and wife were acting really sweet to each other. Even though romours of cheating are in the air, the couple are planning to have a romantic night together in a couple of days. Me, the maid of honor, is still trying hard to keep the couple from having a divorce. Maybe we should start with couples therapy once a week or so? With me as the therapist of course. They have to learn how to trust each other, and stop assuming that the other is cheating all the time. That's our biggest problem in the relationship right now.

What I like the most about these two soulmates is the cute nicknames. Malin keeps calling Sophie "honey" after every fucking thing she says, and Sophie has given Malin the new name "handsome". To be continued...

/Maxime

Hey!

Welcome to a blog about the life of the volonteers in Kibbutz Hazorea. Mostley is gonna be me (Malin) and my dear Maxime having control over this blog. But all the volonteers are free to use it. It's all gonna be about our life here, and I promise that it's insane.
For example last week I got married to Sophie, the crazy redhead from London. We have a wierd marriage and we will keep you informed...


So, after a crazy week of party, me and Maxime desided to have a healthy period until thursday. The plan is to play alot of matkot, swim in the pool and take long walks arorund the kibbutz. I hope my wife (Sophie) will join us on this thing. We haven't been fighting in days...

A new girl from Finland is coming, today? No one knows, especially not Racheli (the woman responsible for all the volunteers)...

Yesterday, Rachelis office:

Racheli: A new girl is coming, maybe today.

Maxime: Nooooo, not another girl, fuck!

Racheli: She is from Finland.

Maxime: Nooooooooo, fuck! Where is she gonna live?

Racheli: I don't know..

Maxime: Where's she gonna work?

Racheli: I don't know..

Maxime: How old is she?

Racheli: I don't know..

Maxime: Is she really coming today?

Racheli: I don't know..

Maxime: We don't like finnish people. They only drink Koskenkorva Vodka in the sauna...

Racheli: Yes, you scandinavians only drink because you don't have anything else to do. So you can drink with her, it's nice.

Racheli

/Malin